Astrology in my world: Saturn square my Chiron

At first I thought something was wrong with Rich, my husband.  Everything he did was bothering me.  He didn’t talk to me enough.  He talked to me too much.  He didn’t pay any attention to what I was doing.  He paid too much attention to what I was doing.  I felt like a raw nerve, and everything he did set me off.  And then I felt that there was something wrong with me – that I wasn’t good enough and it was probably my fault anyway.

I went for a walk and realized, “This feels like Chiron.”  You would think I would be more up on my own chart, but I long ago stopped tracking every little movement of the planets and anticipating what they might mean.  (I keep an eye on the larger cycles, but since Saturn will only make this square to my Chiron once I didn’t give it too much thought.  Next year when Pluto conjoins Chiron I will be singing a different tune!)

At any rate, once I realized that Saturn was squaring Chiron in my chart, it all began to make sense.  Chiron in our chart reveals where we are emotionally sensitive.  It’s the little places where if someone says something the wrong way we burst out in tears.  Transiting Saturn, being the noble Taskmaster that he is, wants to make sure that we are doing the hard work to heal old wounds and will make sure that those wounds pop up in our conscious mind so that we can attend to them.

Individuals with Saturn/Chiron alignments in their chart know this all too well.  I like to say to my Saturn/Chiron clients that  ”some people can hide from their wounds, but not you.”  This may seem like an unfair burden, but in the long run we are better off learning how to release these wounds as they arise, rather than walk around with them lurking under the surface for the rest of our lives where they can cause not only emotional problems, but physical ones as well.

Once I realized that Saturn was activating Chiron, I saw very clearly that this was old stuff for me, old feelings of worthlessness that are thankfully healed to a great extent, but still somewhat present.  I took some deep breaths, relaxing into the emotions as they passed through me.  And then I apologized to Rich for having blamed him for something that was going on in my own psyche.

It’s easy when we’re unhappy to find someone to blame those feelings on, and often it seems fair and legitimate to do so.  But one thing I have learned is that as long as we blame and accuse we remain stuck in our unhappiness.  Each of us is responsible for our own healing, and our own happiness.  But we can find soulmates on the path who will understand what we are going through, and forgive us when we make mistakes.

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Mercury Rx at Astrological Musings

This morning I wrote a long and well-thought out post about the 20-something generation.  Unfortunately, I made a big and stupid error by tagging that generation as the Pluto in Sagittarius generation.  Thankfully, I have brilliant readers who emailed me right away and called this to my attention.

Many of you know that in the best of times I am prone to typos and sloppy errors.  I like to blame this on my Gemini ascendant which is all too ready to move on to the next project.  But when Mercury is retrograde we tend to pay less attention to details which is why we often end up making big errors.

I’m just glad I have sharp readers who catch my mistakes before my articles get circulated in the wider world and cause me major embarrassment!  Especially with Neptune transiting my Midheaven and confusing my image in the outer world. :)

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Astrology in my world: Handling Jupiter/Uranus energy

Art by Alex Grey

Much has been written about the positive aspects of the combination of Jupiter and Uranus in the chart, and there is no doubt that when these planets come together it is a rockin’ opportunity to open doorways, both in our life and in our own being, that have been stuck closed.  Jupiter is the planet of expansion and good fortune – it can bring pinnacle experiences and a sense of unlimited opportunity.  Uranus is known as the planet of change and sudden surprise, but it is also the instigator of experiences that serve to liberate us from anything that is holding us back – even if it is a prison of our own making.

The first conjunction (joining) of Jupiter and Uranus occured last week  in Aries, and the rest of the cycle takes place in Pisces.   Typically the first phase of a planetary cycle is most intense, because we encounter a new energy which has not yet become assimilated into our experience.  The initial conjunction took place at zero degree Aries, in an exact square to Mars in my own chart.

Those of you who have been reading this blog for a while may remember that my Mars has been hit repeatedly over the past couple of years.  It all began when Pluto entered Capricorn and hit my Mars at zero degrees Cap.  Then last fall, when Saturn entered Libra, it began a series of squares to my Mars.  Now, with Jupiter and Uranus both at zero degrees Aries, they are having a field day with my Mars!

From the comments on the Astrodynamics Facebook page it appears that I’m not the only one having some trouble with the energy of this conjunction.  Planetary cycles affect us all differently, and this one is no exception.  People who have a lot of fire and air in their charts – who embrace change and relish excitement – they will likely have an exhilarating process of release and enthusiasm under this planetary combination.  But for those of us for whom change is difficult, and whose charts contain lots of earth and water and are more security-oriented, this wild energy can be overwhelming and even frightening.

My own chart contains lots of fire and air, so I should really be in the first camp, but my chart is made up entirely of cardinal and fixed signs.  I am all action and stubbornness and have a lot of trouble relinquishing control.  This gives me a great deal of focus and an ability to work hard and accomplish a lot of things, but it also makes me somewhat inflexible (you wouldn’t know it to look at me though, because Gemini, the sign of adaptability, is rising in my chart).

I first noticed Jupiter approaching the square to my Mars because I became much more outspoken than I usually am.  In fact, I said just about everything that was on my mind, and it was fantastic.  With three planets in Libra and Saturn on the Sun, I am usually not that free and it felt very liberating.  Then one night, as the square culminated, I became terribly sick for about three hours in a huge release of energy that came through my body.  Afterwards I was fine – it was a purely energetic event that was really uncomfortable, but in the weeks since then I realize that something shifted within me that night and broke through my normal resistance.

However, the shift was evidently not complete because about two weeks later, when Uranus aligned in the exact square to my Mars, I experienced severe heart flutters when a huge force of energy became blocked at my solar plexus.  Mars is associated with the solar plexus, and astrologer Alan Oken says “The solar plexus is linked to self-preservation and the survival of the ego, the lower self. It is also the seat of the astral or desire energy field.”  Although this was a frightening event I wasn’t really afraid, because I knew that this was the very day that Uranus was aspecting my Mars and I was ready for something intense to happen.  Fortunately I work with a wonderful healer who helped to open up these blocks and release  some of the remnants of the difficult energies that still linger in my body and spirit.

For those of us on a healing journey, every challenging experience like this is an opportunity to clear some of the psychic and emotional debris of the past and emerge as a more whole and joyful human person.

If I can quote myself from the previous article on my Pluto story:

Someone asked me yesterday, “how do we know that we have worked through our issues so that we get to the higher manifestation of the planets?” Our personal issues and personality quirks create resistance within us to the unfolding progress of soul growth. As long as we identify with these issues and quirks and hold onto them instead of relaxing into the process of change, the difficult planetary transits create lessons and challenges for us in order to facilitate that process. Once we have stopped resisting and feel enough trust in the process so that we surrender each moment to the energies of the planetary gods as they work to deepen our evolutionary story.

I do have some tips for anyone going through intense energetic changes as a result of the current Jupiter/Uranus conjunction:

  • Yoga is one of the best ways to balance your energy system and release stuck emotions.  We often hold these blockages in our body, and by releasing them through a hatha yoga practice we can realign our energy fields and improve our experience.
  • Practicing mindful meditation.  Not a meditation that seeks to block thoughts and emotions, mindfulness is an awareness and a sense of being present in your experience.  Through a practice of mindful presence we awaken to the stirrings within the heart, and open the doors for blocked emotions and feelings to emerge and be welcomed and released with love.
  • Seek the help of healing professionals.  Sometimes we need talk therapy to work through situational difficulties.  Sometimes we need astrologers to help to give shape and explain the underlying nature of what we are experiencing.  Sometimes we need practitioners in the energy fields to help restore balance to the psycho-energetic systems.

As we delve more deeply into the more subtle realms, our need for healing and guidance becomes more subtle as well.  But if we approach these experiences with the awe and wonder they deserve, instead of being challenging they become an exciting adventure that will bring greater liberation and joy.

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A day with Dharmaruci

This has been an amazing trip so far!! Today Dharmaruci and Vajramala hosted Rich and I and our friends Dianne and David for a delicious lunch on their courtyard. It was lots of fun meeting DR after corresponding for about five years. Many of you will recognize Dharmaruci from his Astrotabletalk blog (linked in the sidebar), another of my favorites and most sympatico to this one.

There was a debate a couple of years ago whether DR’s rising sign was Virgo, Leo or Libra – I’m pleased to be able to confirm that it’s definitely Leo! He is a very entertaining guy and lots of fun to hang out with.

From here Rich and I head off to Cornwall for more magical adventures. Meanwhile I hope you are enjoying the menu of posts I prepared for you!

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Meeting Kathryn in London

Kathryn Cassidy is one of my favorite astrobloggers. Her blog, Collaborate with Fate (linked in the sidebar) is a consistently interesting trove of hidden symbols and astrological insights. Over the years she and I have shared our interests in many things from astrological details to conspiracy mysteries. So it was fun to meet her on person today when she gave us a wonderful tour of downtown London.

Kathryn was a great tour guide and had sent me a long and detailed walking tour of some of the more interesting sites on Fleet Street and other areas with a history of fascinating mystery.  Her tip to tour the Freemason’s Hall was a great one.  When we met she took us on a long walk around St. James Park and Buckingham Palace that was better than any tour we could have purchased!  And most importantly, in that afternoon we became real friends.

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Mercury retrograde in my world

When Mercury is retrograde, I spend much of my time assuring clients that not everything will fall apart during these periods.  If problems do occur, though, it sure does make it easier to know that Mercury is retrograde and that these things are to be expected.

Mercury has only been retrograde for a few days, but already I’ve had the following problems:

  • A security breach on my credit card necessitated the cancellation of that card and issuance of a new one and the resulting need to change all of the various website that use the card.
  • My Quicken program told me that I needed to upgrade by April 30th or lose some of the functionality.  I already had the software but hadn’t installed it – when I went to install it I found that the problem downloading automatic windows updates that I had been ignoring since November would not permit the Quicken installation.  After 90 minutes on the help line they told me the only way to fix it was to reinstall the operating system.
  • The 30-minute job of setting up my new wireless printer took two hours and a hefty $255 bill because of hidden problems in my office network.
  • When I went to change the rental car reservation for our big trip coming up they told me OOPS!  It’s a good thing you called because you can’t pick up your car the day of your reservation, it’s a bank holiday.  So in that case Mercury Rx worked in my favor.  If I hadn’t had to change the trip, I wouldn’t have called to change the reservation and wouldn’t have found out until we couldn’t pick up the car!

This Mercury Retrograde period started out to be particularly difficult because it was in a challenging square formation to Mars for a few days.  The intensity should let up soon.

How is the retrograde treating you?

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Astrology in my world: Saturn square my Mars

art by Rainbow Carnage. Last fall when I was in Jamaica, transiting Saturn made a square to my Mars.  Saturn is the planet that causes restriction – it brings delays, disappointments, and can cause us to feel overworked.  Mars in our chart shows where we are energized, inspired, and how we go about getting things done.

Having just gone through a major transit of Pluto to my Mars, my  Mars is pretty well activated.  I speak up for myself, get plenty of exercise to activate that Mars energy, and set good boundaries, so I wasn’t sure what to expect when Saturn first squared my Mars when I was on vacation in Jamaica last fall.  As it happened, I turned my vacation into a fitness bootcamp by getting serious (Saturn) about exercise (Mars), but I also got trapped in the hotel room when I was so eaten up by bugs that I couldn’t venture outside.  My husband Rich took off for the beach, leaving me peacefully reading on the veranda until I couldn’t find the key to lock the room which effectively trapped me (Saturn) inside the room, unable to do anything (Mars).  I later found the key right where Rich said it was, on the dresser, but meanwhile I had a powerful Saturn/Mars experience.

So yesterday Rich and I were up in Asheville for a couple of days, and he had a meeting there Monday morning.  I had a whole list of cool things I was going to do with the dog while Rich was at his meeting (he left at the crack of dawn), but when I got dressed and was ready to go, I realized he had taken the car keys, effectively trapping me in the room again!  Sure enough, that was the exact second hit of the transit of Saturn in a square to my  Mars.

As Saturn transits go that could have gone a lot worse and I really had to laugh.  Instead of gallivanting around Asheville (Mars), I worked (Saturn) all morning.  Fortunately I was able to get a lot done, because Saturn really does ultimately reward us when we knuckle down to our responsibilities.

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Mars Retrograde Brings Traffic Problems

Mars is the planet that rules action, so it stands to reason that it’s retrograde turn on the 20th would bring transportation problems, and so it did as several parts of the world faced challenging winter conditions:
Four passenger trains broke down in the Channel Tunnel (Chunnel) between France and Britain on Saturday as Mars stood still preparing to change direction, stranding more than 2,000 passengers for hours.
Meanwhile on Monday thousands in the UK were trapped in their cars overnight with more than 20,000 breakdowns noted by the end of the night as the result of a record breaking snowstorm.
It looks like the weather is the likely culprit and not Mars, but it sure is a coincidence!
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Astrology in My World: Saturn Square Mars on Vaction

So I’m in Jamaica for my tenth anniversary and the day I left, Saturn made an exact square to Mars in my chart.  If you’ve been reading this blog for awhile you may remember that over the past couple of years Pluto has been transiting my Mars, and that’s been quite an interesting ride.
Astrologers like to say that a challenging transit of Saturn (restriction, limitation, confinement) to Mars in the birthchart (drive, desires, action) is like driving with the brakes on.  We want to go, we make plans to go, but we can’t go.  Those brakes are on, and the car won’t budge.
For the past week or two it has been extremely difficult to move.  There I was, just days from a bathing suit vacation, with no energy to go to the gym.  Very challenging.
If Saturn has to square your Mars, it might as well be on vacation when you don’t really have to do anything.  If you can’t drive with the brakes on, you might as well stop trying to go anywhere.  Wash the car, detail it, maybe change the upholstery.  But give up the idea of going anywhere until the brakes start working again and can be released.
We are spending the week at a resort with a great gym, so Rich and I have been working out every day.  My goal, with my Capricorn Mars, is to go home in better shape than the one I came with.  Rich’s goal, with his double Pisces, is to be able to eat more. :)
Working out has been difficult – it’s hot and humid, and yesterday I developed heat exhaustion (Saturn’s putting the brakes on).  So today, I decided it would be better to be the tortoise than my usual hare.  I took my time and didn’t push myself, and ended up doing 45 minutes on the cardio eqiupment rather than my usual 30, with the added bonus of noticing that the usual pain in my foot was missing.  I felt GREAT, and exhilarated.  Finally I listened to Saturn and slowed down.
Under Saturn’s pressure we often find it tempting to just give up.  It can be just too hard.  But if we persist and keep pressing through, we are rewarded with progress and wisdom.
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