Musings on soulmates

soulmate astrologyYesterday I did a reading for a young woman who was reeling from a breakup with a man she considered her soulmate.  She was mystified by the ending of the relationship and was hoping to find some clues that would help her to move on.  This type of situation occurs frequently, and it’s very interesting from an astrological perspective.  Nearly always there is a big transformation that results from the relationship – an opening of the heart, a letting go of emotional baggage – that wouldn’t have happened without this particular relationship.  But then when the transformation is complete the relationship ends if it doesn’t meet the long-term needs of the individual.

Most people are looking for their soulmate, and some who are married too, I suppose. Many people think the soulmate will be their perfect match in every way, perhaps a mirror to reflect their own value back to them. In real life, the soulmate relationship usually doesn’t work that way.

Often when two people meet and feel an immediate connection there is a linkage between their two charts, sometimes a harmonious connection (trines and sextiles) and sometimes a challenging one (squares and oppositions). Often it is the challenging connections that feel more exciting and dynamic, but then once the excitement of the new relationship dies down the intensity of the connection has a tendency to fade, leaving the conflicting nature of the connection to be dealt with. That’s usually when we see breakups, but that is often the point where real soul growth can begin to take place.

There’s no way to definitively prove that some relationships enter our lives to clean up past karma, but I believe that this is true.  In the case of yesterday’s client there were some transits to the nodes (the destiny points) at the time they met, and interactions between their progressed charts that aligned just as they came together.  Significant events occurred that would change both of their lives forever.

In my own experience, the soulmate relationship is not the magical coming together of two personalities that we see in Hollywood movies.  It’s the friendship that ties two people together for a lifetime, perhaps driving each of them crazy but teaching them both important lessons.  It’s the marriage that offers the emotional support for healing that each partner needs in order to fulfill their fate.  It’s the affair which breaks a person out of the prison of their own closed heart and enables them to find true love with their own spouse, or a new one.

Soulmates are individuals that we draw to us to help us to grow and evolve.  Sometimes that process occurs over an evening – sometimes it lasts a lifetime.  A soulmate is not what you think, and so much more.

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  1. Greg FJanuary 10, 2014 at 12:38 pm #

    I have written about my soulmate K here before. We met in April of 2011, then she disappeared for 15 months, only to reappear last January and spend nearly five months off and on with me in 2013. Although I was married for nearly 18 years, K is my best friend that’s a girl. :)

    She’s been gone again for 6 months, but I have a hunch we’ll connect again in the future. I have been playing with my progressed birth chart over the past week, and also with our composite progressed chart, and it is amazing. The dates I met K first, and her most recent appearances all contain major conjunctions, trines and sextiles. The future looks even brighter, if we happen to get back together.

    K helped me get over a painful divorce and has been a great companion. She suffers from CPTSD and paranoia, and I have helped her with my trustworthiness, devoted friendship and love. I hope she gets the professional help she needs, but that is up to her. I’ve learned to love her for who she is, not with the intention of trying to change her, which is a pretty big lesson from a soulmate.

    A friend recommended two great books on reincarnation by Michael Newton, PhD. , “Journey of Souls,” and “Destiny of Souls.” His hypnotherapy sessions uncovered many stories about the afterlife from his clients, and there is a big section on soulmates and their role in our lives.

    Thanks for the inspiration, Lynn!

    • Lynn HayesJanuary 11, 2014 at 6:26 pm #

      I love those books Greg, they are really wonderful. I have done several readings for people since Venus has been retrograde who are dealing with breakups and reconnections. Sometimes it takes people a long time to come together while they both work on their stuff individually.

  2. cimbalokJanuary 10, 2014 at 5:00 pm #

    I learned not to believe in “a” soulmate, but in soulmates in general and I agree they are the folks who make us grow, whether we like it or not. Since I’ve become a student of astrology (thanks to Lynn’s awesome post on JonBenet Ramsey years ago) every time I feel a connection with someone I check out our charts.

    There are three guys I was on concert tour with in 1977 who I’ve recently reconnected with. I feel “sisterly” toward two of them and “not sisterly” toward the 3rd, who I’ll call Phil. Phil’s South Node is conjunct my Sun. His Pluto is opposite my Sun. My Venus is opposite his Uranus, and vice versa. His Venus is conjunct my Moon. His Moon is sextile my Moon and square my Sun. His Mercury is conjunct my Saturn. My Sun is trine his Neptune and sextile his Jupiter. His Chiron is conjunct my Venus and my Chiron is sextile his Mercury. My Mars is trine his Saturn. All of this is pretty tight with the biggest difference being between his Venus and my Uranus (5 degrees). The rest are 0 – 2 degrees in aspect. Looks like a past life situation to me, especially with his S. Node conjunct my Sun. We get along great (Venus conj. Moon) as friends, but he holds me at arms length otherwise. Whatever, it’s interesting to know someone who, when you hang out, seems familiar as in, “Now, where were we before we were so rudely interrupted?” The obvious answer is “On concert tour in 1977!” except that I totally don’t remember him being there (or speaking with him even once), but I have a photo to prove he was.

    • Lynn HayesJanuary 11, 2014 at 6:25 pm #

      Perfect for Venus retrograde!

  3. Crystal B.January 10, 2014 at 8:57 pm #

    Lynn – I love your blog and have been an avid reader of all your musings for years. As an astrologer myself I am a firm believer in karma – particularly when it comes to relationships. I also have found that the vertex point in our charts is very connected to encountering karmic situations/people. Venus retrograde ( as we are in now) also has proven in my work to bring about karmic relationship themes. Thanks again for the great post and all your wonderful musings.

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